Bridesmaids

"Actually , it's pronounced "mill-e-wah-que" which is Algonquin for "the good land."

- Alice Cooper


I was thinking about trying to do this review like Bridesmaids was some sick and brutal movie like Conan or some shit, but that's be dumb cause it'd be all like, there is a realm, where women do battle. A land where women's feelings are hurt, by those they trust the most. Where the bodily humors are given free rein, with no wedding dress left unspared. A land (maybe this is more of a brutal preview) where eyes are rolled, but never gouged. A world strange and savage, but perhaps, just like ours.

In this world run by cruel ritual, women are consumed completely by desire to be wed. All must make the passage but once through, few if any, remain unsoiled. Dark tales are told by those found in the bonds of betrothal. Tales of women desiring tenderness but who are instead taken forcibly every night whilst Jon Stewart watches on, from his Daily Show. Tales of those who have been to the Land of Disney, for honeymoon, but whose husband demands a long and exacting set of conditions, before any sort of bedding might be made. A tale of one trapped. Trapped in a gilded cage, who has been so thoroughly devoured by neglect and loneliness that nothing remains but a ghastly smile atop an empty shell.

But in this world, there are two women. Two women in this world, trapped. Two women trapped in this world. These two women are trapped in this world, in this world that they never made. And they will fight against all odds, to try and find happiness. But those who want to be happy must pay the price. And the price is steep, for it is the price, of Bridesmaids.


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