Legendary cheapskate reviews movies after you have already seen them, or decided that you weren't interested.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Cowboys and Aliens

Here is a picture of Daniel Craig from this movie and some Smurfsalso this post is dedicated to @mandysezz who gives me a ride to all these movies and whose birthday it is today

Well, reasons to see this movie. Two pairs of really really blue eyes. Aliens are cool, the ones in this movie are also pretty cool. You get to see cowboys fight aliens, and Apaches fight aliens (Apaches are of course, much better at this). The aliens have two sets of arms, which is pretty cool. One set is really big and beefy and good for doing stuff like knocking cowboys off horses, and one is little and hidden in a gross little pouch then the pouch opens like an egg, like from Alien, and these two little arms pop out and those arms are good for doing stuff like pawing ineffectually at peoples faces.

Another thing about these cute little arms is when they're sticking out they're set up like T-Rex arms, which is funny since T-Rex's little arms are so damn cute. Not to mention, when those itty bitty little cute arms pop out they're right next to the Aliens heart, which has been hidden in it's alien egg chest. So when those yucky little adorable arms pop out you get to hear it beat, and it makes a really cool sound. Also there's a part where everyone is in a boat and it's upside down.

Neither Han Solo nor Indiana Jones are in this movie, but we do get what some people consider the next best thing, Harrison Ford. He's looking pretty old, but that doesn't stop him from putting in a really mellow, grumbly performance. I found myself too distracted by Daniel Craigs hat shape to really take in what he was doing, but I'm sure it was pretty good. There's a girl who dresses kind of like a western Annie Hall who (spoiler alert!) is some other type of alien. You'd think that that would be kind of a big factor in the film, but not really.

Daniel Craig takes Peyote and sees a hummingbird then sees it again at the end of the movie, and smiles. He smiles like "you crazy hummingbird. Life is sure wild for there to be a hummingbird like you in it, hummingbird. Ha Ha life. The great ride. Hummingbird." That parts cool.

This thing happens also, where Harrison Ford uses a stick to kill an alien and the Apache chief who has thus far been kinda on the fence about him is like, "Oh cool man. You used a stick to kill an alien. Kinda like how I might have done it. Respect." There's a lot of shit like that, where people learn to think each other are cool because they find out people can do cool things when they have to fight aliens. Like so many movies, Cowboys and Aliens makes a very compelling argument for humanity's need of an alien invasion.

There's an Apache guy who hangs with the white dudes and after a little thought I'm pretty sure he dies. Not 100% on this, but I think he was in Twilight so if you're a completest as far as that franchise goes, by all means SEE THIS MOVIE. I kinda wish it had been more successful so we could look forward to more '.... and Aliens' movies. Just in case, films I would like to see in this series are:

Baseball Players and Aliens

Superguys and Aliens

Wizards and Aliens

World War II Vets and Aliens

Kitties and Aliens

Antique Road Show and Aliens

Dragons and Aliens

Hellboys and Aliens

Babies and Aliens

Tortured 18th Century Composers and Aliens

Predators vs. Aliens and Aliens

E.T. and Aliens

Meet the Parents and Aliens

Marx Brothers and Aliens (A.K.A. A Day at the Aliens)

A dollar is about the right price to pay for this film.