Over The Top

I was pretty sure that Over The Top was going to be the most amazing thing I'd ever seen. I mean, Stallone, arm wrestling, in a movie? That sounds awesome! Unfortunately, no one thought to tell me that this movie isn't actually about arm wrestling. It's about Stallone reconnecting with his long lost son that he abandoned for 10 years. And you know what that is?

A fucking stupid idea for a movie! If I wanted to see a movie about Stallone reconnecting with family I would've watched Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot! If this was a true arm wrestling film it probably would've been a huge success and Over the Top V: Lincoln Hawk, would be coming soon to a theater near you, and everyone would be PUMPED. If you need evidence to back it up, it's in the few parts where there's actually any arm wrestling. Those parts rule! They're full of giant dudes drinking motor oil, making crazy faces, sweating, grunting, and wearing extremely tall platform shoes. Awesome!

Unfortunately, there's only 3 such sequences in the movie. And one is between two kids! No one wants to see kids arm wrestle, that's boring and weird. You have to wait like 70 minutes for the serious arm wrestling to happen. The movie should be pretty much over by then.

Stallone co wrote this and if I had to guess why, I'd say it's because he wanted to show off his acting chops. To his credit, the acting's pretty solid. He uses different intonations for some of his words and he definitely made some faces I hadn't seen before. There isn't a part that requires him crying, but if there was, I'm pretty sure he'd have done a great job. It's just such a shame that he was unwilling to put this performance in for a movie actually about arm wrestling.

Since Stallone is in this movie, and since the ending is pretty much awesome non stop arm wrestling action, I'm going to have to say that this movie is cool, and does rule, and therefore has a place on this blog. When you get down to it though, this movie is just OK. Also someone told me there was a part where they arm wrestle on spikes and that does NOT happen.